BART

There is one reason (not including my intense phobia of germs and disease or my fear that an earthquake will hit as I am riding through the tube to the East Bay) I don't like riding BART: people who stand obnoxiously and unnecessarily close to me.

I don't sit on BART. Why you ask? Mainly, because those cushiony seats look to me like giant sponges filled with bacteria and, quite possibly, urine. So, I stand. I understand that people have to squeeze in on crowded trains, but what about uncrowded trains? My thought is, if I can feel you breathing on me, and you don't seem to have a good reason to, and I don't know you, I hate you.

This is a warning to that guy who thought it a good idea to invade my space on my way to Berkeley last weekend; next time you might not be so lucky (Note: most people will tell you that I am all talk. This is true.).

Potty Mouth

I should have known I was in trouble when the man in the row in front of me said, "Kasey, please don't say the same thing over and over again" and little Kasey replied, "Why Daddy, why Daddy, why daddy, why?" Kasey talked in a really loud and whiny voice, which I'm sure is normal for a two year old, but is, nonetheless, quite annoying on a crowded airplane. After about three hours, Kasey and his mom went to the bathroom. When they came back, Kasey's mom said to Kasey's dad, "guess who went potty in the toilet?" My guess was Kasey.

Kasey was super psyched. So psyched in fact that he spent almost the entire remaining 2.5 hours on the plane singing songs he created about the potty. The lyrics to my favorite were something like, "potty. potty. kasey used the potty. mommy was there too. potty." It was a pretty magical song, similar to some of Bob Dylan's greatest works. Luckily, as we were making our initial approach, Kasey stopped singing. I think this was because it got in the way of his crying and blood curdling screams. As we touched down at SFO, little Kasey drifted off to sleep (for about five minutes before he remembered how much fun screaming is).

Query

Another interesting search has led someone to my blog: Maria Shriver and Roy Horn.

Who searches for Roy Horn and Maria Shriver at the same time and why? Have they been on tour together? Are they having a secret affair that could crush Arnold and Siegfried? Tell me...I need to know.

Tour Dates

You may have heard the buzz on MTV News, and its all true. The Stuff in my Head Blog Author and Creative Mastermind, Renee, is going on tour. Catch her if you can in a city near you:

May 23- May 28 - Hollywood, Florida (SOLD OUT)
June 6 - June 8 - Mahwah, New Jersey (Tickets still available)
June 9 - TBD - New York City (contact us for exact dates)
June 28 - TBD - Cerritos, California
July 19 - July 22 - Denver, Colorado
Aug 2 - Aug 6 - various cities

These are only some of the stops Renee will be making on her Summer '04 concert tour. Contact us to find out if she'll be in your town this summer.