Shut Up
So, it wasn't bad enough that I was sitting in the very last row of the plane traveling from Washington D.C. to San Francisco (a five hour flight) and we were expecting turbulence, but my seat mate was determined to be my best friend. He did that staring until we made eye contact thing that instead of being friendly, as I'm sure he intended, ended up being creepy. I tried watching a movie, but when he learned that we were watching the same movie he decided to chat me up about it. I never removed my headphones. Then I tried doing some work. "Whatcha doing," he asked. "Working," I replied. He decided to chat me up about that too. I was still wearing my headphones. I decided to take a short nap, with my headphones on for added security, and as I dozed off he asked me if I was tired.
Nothing stops a plane talker. Not working. Not headphones. Not even snoring. When I arrived at SFO, I had learned that, among other things, the plane talker had begun his travels that morning in Germany and I thought, thank God I didn't have to sit next to him on that flight.
30 May 2004
20 May 2004
The Ride Home
What better way to get home after a long day then by taxi? Foot, train, maybe bike, I'm sure there are others...and here's why.
The taxi driver managed to talk the entire ride home. At one point, he asked me a question about reception and when I began to answer he interrupted me and answered it himself. It started out by him telling me that I looked "fresh." He offered little clarification for that comment, but he did keep on talking. After singing to himself (loudly), he became really focused on one topic...cell phones. "What cell phone company do you have?" "Do you like them?" "I have Sprint and I got this phone (pulls out phone which he proceeds to throw at me as he slams on the breaks) then I called them and told them I lost it and they said they would send me a new phone because I have insurance and then they turned this one off, so now, I've got no phone...bastards." Never mind that had he not lied about losing the phone in the first place he wouldn't be in this predicament. He then went on to explain the difference between cellular providers, "with Metro it goes doot doot doooooot for about 10 seconds, with Sprint its like choo choooo for 3-4 seconds, but with AT&T no doot or choo, you just talk." "So, should I switch to AT&T?" "My phone has a camera with flash, will my new phone?" Oh dear...I felt like I was trapped in a never-ending commercial for cell phones and ADD medication.
Can you hear me now? Good Lord.
What better way to get home after a long day then by taxi? Foot, train, maybe bike, I'm sure there are others...and here's why.
The taxi driver managed to talk the entire ride home. At one point, he asked me a question about reception and when I began to answer he interrupted me and answered it himself. It started out by him telling me that I looked "fresh." He offered little clarification for that comment, but he did keep on talking. After singing to himself (loudly), he became really focused on one topic...cell phones. "What cell phone company do you have?" "Do you like them?" "I have Sprint and I got this phone (pulls out phone which he proceeds to throw at me as he slams on the breaks) then I called them and told them I lost it and they said they would send me a new phone because I have insurance and then they turned this one off, so now, I've got no phone...bastards." Never mind that had he not lied about losing the phone in the first place he wouldn't be in this predicament. He then went on to explain the difference between cellular providers, "with Metro it goes doot doot doooooot for about 10 seconds, with Sprint its like choo choooo for 3-4 seconds, but with AT&T no doot or choo, you just talk." "So, should I switch to AT&T?" "My phone has a camera with flash, will my new phone?" Oh dear...I felt like I was trapped in a never-ending commercial for cell phones and ADD medication.
Can you hear me now? Good Lord.
18 May 2004
Got Milk?
Ok, so this whole low to no carb thing has gotten a bit out of hand. I rolled my eyes when people started telling me that I shouldn't be eating that plain baked potato. I laughed when they introduced low carb doughnuts (I mean, really, if you can't give up doughnuts, don't you think carbs aren't the real issue). This morning, I was left expressionless when I saw an advertisement for low-carb milk. Remember when milk used to do a body good? I do. Of course I still remember when orange juice was good for you. Now, there's a low carb version of that too. Most of the fruits and vegetables that you love are now a no-no. Pretty soon vitamins will be on the bad list too. Next thing ya know, they'll be coming out with oxygen free air and hydrogen free water. When will this craziness end...probably not until someone tries to stop the world from eating bacon...because everyone loves bacon.
Ok, so this whole low to no carb thing has gotten a bit out of hand. I rolled my eyes when people started telling me that I shouldn't be eating that plain baked potato. I laughed when they introduced low carb doughnuts (I mean, really, if you can't give up doughnuts, don't you think carbs aren't the real issue). This morning, I was left expressionless when I saw an advertisement for low-carb milk. Remember when milk used to do a body good? I do. Of course I still remember when orange juice was good for you. Now, there's a low carb version of that too. Most of the fruits and vegetables that you love are now a no-no. Pretty soon vitamins will be on the bad list too. Next thing ya know, they'll be coming out with oxygen free air and hydrogen free water. When will this craziness end...probably not until someone tries to stop the world from eating bacon...because everyone loves bacon.
11 May 2004
Vultures
Many people know that I am deathly terrified of only a few things in this world...clowns and pigeons (I have no idea what I would do if a pigeon dressed as a clown approached me). That said, there are a ton of things that I am mildly afraid of. One of those things is the baggage claim. Now, it's not the rotating device that looks as if it could remove a limb if it chose to that scares me. It's not that frightening buzzer sound that not only alerts you that the man-eating rotating device is beginning its deathly whirl, but also gives you a mild heart attack in the process that keeps me awake at night. And it's not the conveyor belt that whips out several pieces of similar looking luggage onto that horrid man-eating rotating device that gives me goose bumps.
What really scares the crap out of me are the hundreds of people who, unfortunately, all own black garment bags and don't know how to say excuse me. They, without fail, stand near the rear of the pack and when the first Tumi bag rolls out, they dive. No, it's not their's and yes, you now have a slight concussion and 18 bruises.
I can only imagine one thing worse than waiting for your baggage surrounded by vultures...waiting for your baggage surrounded by pigeons dressed as clowns.
Many people know that I am deathly terrified of only a few things in this world...clowns and pigeons (I have no idea what I would do if a pigeon dressed as a clown approached me). That said, there are a ton of things that I am mildly afraid of. One of those things is the baggage claim. Now, it's not the rotating device that looks as if it could remove a limb if it chose to that scares me. It's not that frightening buzzer sound that not only alerts you that the man-eating rotating device is beginning its deathly whirl, but also gives you a mild heart attack in the process that keeps me awake at night. And it's not the conveyor belt that whips out several pieces of similar looking luggage onto that horrid man-eating rotating device that gives me goose bumps.
What really scares the crap out of me are the hundreds of people who, unfortunately, all own black garment bags and don't know how to say excuse me. They, without fail, stand near the rear of the pack and when the first Tumi bag rolls out, they dive. No, it's not their's and yes, you now have a slight concussion and 18 bruises.
I can only imagine one thing worse than waiting for your baggage surrounded by vultures...waiting for your baggage surrounded by pigeons dressed as clowns.
03 May 2004
Roy Who? What Tiger?
What ever happened to Roy Horn? A few months ago we were getting an update a minute. The second he responded to voices, we knew. When he declared that a full recovery was on the way, we were right there with him. But all of that has changed. For all we know, he could be doing the Tango with one of his Tigers in Mexico and we would be none the wiser. Earlier today I stopped by the Siegfried and Roy webpage, but nothing was said about Roy's current status...as a matter of fact I couldn't find anything about the accident that ended it all. Are they trying to hide something? We need to know. What's going on with Roy?
What ever happened to Roy Horn? A few months ago we were getting an update a minute. The second he responded to voices, we knew. When he declared that a full recovery was on the way, we were right there with him. But all of that has changed. For all we know, he could be doing the Tango with one of his Tigers in Mexico and we would be none the wiser. Earlier today I stopped by the Siegfried and Roy webpage, but nothing was said about Roy's current status...as a matter of fact I couldn't find anything about the accident that ended it all. Are they trying to hide something? We need to know. What's going on with Roy?
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