Shut Up

So, it wasn't bad enough that I was sitting in the very last row of the plane traveling from Washington D.C. to San Francisco (a five hour flight) and we were expecting turbulence, but my seat mate was determined to be my best friend. He did that staring until we made eye contact thing that instead of being friendly, as I'm sure he intended, ended up being creepy. I tried watching a movie, but when he learned that we were watching the same movie he decided to chat me up about it. I never removed my headphones. Then I tried doing some work. "Whatcha doing," he asked. "Working," I replied. He decided to chat me up about that too. I was still wearing my headphones. I decided to take a short nap, with my headphones on for added security, and as I dozed off he asked me if I was tired.

Nothing stops a plane talker. Not working. Not headphones. Not even snoring. When I arrived at SFO, I had learned that, among other things, the plane talker had begun his travels that morning in Germany and I thought, thank God I didn't have to sit next to him on that flight.