The Crazy Bus

Last night on my way to the Buc, I got on the crazy bus - the Number 19 heading North on Polk Street.

First, I stepped on the bus to hear a crazy woman fighting with a crazy man about the bible. Her take seemed to be that if you aren't Christian, you're going to hell, and, obviously, it was her job to inform you. His take, "you're on crack lady."

Second, I sat across from a woman who really looked like she was having a normal conversation with someone on her cell phone. Except there was no phone...not even one of those hidden earbuds. Nothing. Whoever she was talking to didn't understand why she was so upset, but kept trying to make her laugh. Worst of all, their conversation kept breaking up...I wonder if she uses Sprint?

Third, there was a transvestite who called everyone "Mama." The bus driver, the crazy invisible cell phone lady, the guy in the wheelchair who liked to yell, "wheelchair comin'" even when he was not actually in motion, his friend on the phone - who may, in fact, have been his mother.

Finally, there was a trick back door. No one, ok, none of the crazies could get it to work. One guy tried falling on it, another yelled at it, and the lady without the cell phone spoke very calmly to it. It just wasn't having it.

And this is why I love San Francisco. You're never as crazy as the person sitting next to you.