Dairy

So, today my friend made a comment to me about how everyone thinks they are lactose intolerant. And I'm wondering, is this the new hip thing, kind of like how pink is the new black, or old is the new new? And, if it is, what is it replacing? What affliction did everyone used to think they had? Are we going to start seeing "Got Soy" ads everywhere? Will I have to fake illness after eating cheese fondue to be considered cool? Will I have to refrain from eating cheese in public because of this?

Last week, my milkshake brought all the boys to the yard. This week my milkshake will, apparently, make all the cool boys sick, so instead, we all have to wear old pink clothes while sipping soy lattes at Peet's - because it's always cool to hate Starbucks.

What will be next?